Get Free Shots from Toronto Raptors Ramblings: Die stupid salami and cheese die

Friday, January 05, 2007

Die stupid salami and cheese die

Tonight’s staring lineup included Rasho, Bosh and Nani. That’s nearly 21 feet right there.

Having lost twice to the Hawks you had to figure the Raps would key in on Joe Johnson, and they did. With JJ held in check, Meat playing like good Joey, Nani doing all those things that will get him ROY votes (scoring and no look passes) and Bosh spinning, up and downing and dunking like mad, this was a great all around Raps performance. Shooting 60% also helps.

Chuck was intent on telling us tonight that Nani is not like Dirk but more like dirty Pau. Although Meat was the player of the game (maybe his brother should attend every game) Nani was dropping finger rolls, reverses, dunks, threes and also delivered on the….

It wasn’t his touch passes or his first or his second no look pass but his third. Hard to describe but here you go. Running ‘like a gazel’ (according to Chuck) down the right side on a fast break he cuts through the lane at the baseline, takes the pass and leaves a reverse bounce pass for Bosh to try and finish with a dunk. Sadly Bosh got fouled and couldn’t finish, or it would have been on every Raptor highlight real for the rest of the year / decade. It was still hotter than Brazilian super model sex on the beach.

Calzone also played well and continued driving to the hoop and finishing on the ground out of bounds. That’s his move. Against the Suns he either got the crap packed out of him by Amare or no foul call and it really took him out of the play. Tonight, with no Josh Smith, it worked like a charm.

Michael Jordan a.k.a. Anthony Parker wasn’t any good but have you ever noticed Parker loves to try his ‘Jordan moves’. His fadeaways, his layups, generally moves that he can’t pull off. It’s your buddy in the playground who can almost pull off those moves so he looks pretty cool even when it doesn’t go in. Somehow he’s getting away with this junk in the NBA cause it looks like it might go in. No wonder he was so popular in Tel Aviv. They thought he was MJ. The best tidbit of the game though was to find out Sheldon Williams is dating Anthony Parker’s sister. Advantage Williams. Imagine the trash you could lay down in close? I’m talking Slap Shot type “your wife a dyke…I know…she told me” kind of stuff. Poor MJ.

Bosh of course rules as always. So some of my idiot friends like to take the stance that because the Raps were 6-6 without Bosh we are ‘better without him’ because we play like a team. Ha ha. It’s nice to have a Ewing theory and all, but sweet Jesus. I had an argument a few months back with another friend (slightly more knowledgeable) who argued the Raps were the worst team in the league without Bosh, which is obviously not true. Maybe on paper, but only because nobody knows our team. But Bosh is the cornerstone. You need to have a go to guy. So without him we played hard, smart and got some wins by sneaking up on teams and hustling. Insert an unselfish superstar and we could win the Atlantic. Remember, 30 games for this team to start to gel. We’re almost there. Also Bosh is getting great at getting hit, holding himself in the air and muscling in a shot…now if he could only get up to 80% FT shooting.

Lastly there is Jack. People who tell me they like “Jack” and he’s a great commentator, well riddle me this…why can he not think of anything better to talk about than Salami and Cheese with Chuck. I’m so f-ing sick of hearing about Salami and Cheese I’m thinking about bringing a giant salami stick to the next game and tossing it at their table. Kind of like when the Red Wings throw Octupi on the ice…but different. And now I hear we are having a Salami and Cheese night at the ACC and giving away shirts…I’m going to be sick. Whoever came up with that needs to be fired. Fired I say.

God Bless the Raptors. Death to Salami and Cheese.


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